kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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