just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
