she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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