Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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