You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
