i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
