Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You smell like stripper and shame
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The power of my boobs compel you
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
