yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize