too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
