I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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