The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
