in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize