bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
