There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
