Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
