p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's blow job season.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
