Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
