I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
