But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
