i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
