gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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