it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
