he thought i was a dude.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
