so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
