so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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