Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize