Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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