I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
