You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
