Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
