do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
