I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
