my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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