i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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