just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
