A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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