I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
