I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and she was petting her beer can
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
