I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
