Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
