you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
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