I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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