Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
