I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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