New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize