Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
