Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
