Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
In America we eat man semen.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
