nut hugger
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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