hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
