seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
