hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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