The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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