this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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