Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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