Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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