All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
