K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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