Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
