eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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