She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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