have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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