she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
